Merry Christmas

click.

So I figured I would post this now because there is a slim chance at best I’ll have time to put anything else up before Christmas.

The next days for me include…
A final from hell on a date much too close to Christmas
A beach trip/holiday lights extravaganza with my Shomie
The culmination of this year’s Spootmus ’08
A gift exchange with Jess (where we will watch my…favorite….thing…ever? wrestling?)
A completely fascinating Christmas Eve
A Christmas that I don’t have to work on! Huzzah!

Over break I’ll hopefully log some REAL written entries about…stuff. I’ll also write my usual end of the year entry. I actually really did learn a lot about life this year. And let’s face it, I’ve been happier these last few months than I’ve probably ever been in my entire life.

To anyone who reads this: I wish you peace and a Merry Christmas.
To my lemur: LBA and Happy Spootmus!

-Pat

Happy Spootmus to all and to all a good night

click.

I.
Headlights on a dark and winding road
Clouds on the ground
The tires drive through them
I question if this is a waking dream
You sit quietly
Here is a quiet that I am comfortable with at long last
The radio crackles
I am tired in my core
Bob Dylan eases on
We both reach to adjust the volume
Our hands connect
But there is no snap of electricity in my soul
I smile and slap your hand away
I turn the dial

“How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?”

I sing along softly
My voice is gravely from smoke and lack of sleep
You smile in the darkness but I don’t hear it
I can’t hear it over the sound of my own voice
I can’t hear it over the prospect of letting you hear me sing for the first time
I can't hear it because I am free
I wonder if we will make new journeys in this car
The song about life’s unanswerable questions concludes
I awake and miss you

Spootmus 'O8!

Spootmus is only four days away! Rejoice!

1 curse of Joan/Sharon
2 oversized Obama away messages
3 awkward dads at the annual BBQ
4 yearbook pictures atop Shahomia
5 vomits on new years
6 mockeries of Katy Ryerson
7 sailor/fishermen’s moons
8 thanksgivings with Mumu
9 Svetlanas
10 much beloved Cindys
11 old woman trading cards
12 Marie visits

LBA, Fluffy!

Day with Avi part Three

I should pick up chicks in the Rhino hat.

The handy work of Amith:

Silly drawings of jesus nailed to the cross never fail to put a smile on my face.

Day with Avi part Two

Avi's opinion of nature:

Mah nah nah:

I apparently have a thing for sticking my tongue out in picutres now. Greatttt.

Day with Avi part One

A note from Amy Rose, Esq.

Dear Bluggah,
This is a pretend patty bluggah-doer, but I will not reveal my identity just yet. Your so-called faithful ruler Twicie is wearing a rhino. On her g-d head. I know, right, what a loser, I bet she plays guitar hero on thanksgiving or I better get moving because patty thinks I have typed nine pages already so I must type nine pages!!! I can do this yes I can. So let’s talk about gossip girl, omg, Blair and Serena are such frenemies and Chuck is kind of creepy and he is serena’s like brotherish thing. Okay now let’s talk about the L-word which is porn. You know what I mean by that? I mean it is dirty dirty internet pornz. Richard watches it in his free time. So does Mandy the hottie. Let’s talk about candles now, shall we? Some people enjoy to smell their beautiful melodious nostril scents, while others prefer to create their own scent of burning hair from the candle. Me, I am one of the former. Patty Twicie Patif Mouse Fluffy is one of the latter, who prefers her hair to smell of fumes and death instead of posies and daffodilz. The blue haired woman is the most beautiful of all the haired women. Finest and food pecialties says the cup. Sayeth the cup. Some people laff through their noses, sounding something like this mmhmhmhmhm. Some people laff through their teeth goodness sakes, hissing and fizzing like snakes sssssssss. Sometimes I let go with a ho HO ho ho. Some only go……..BAH!!! It’s that DAMN COLD NIGHT trying ta figure outttt thissss life. …. . . . won’t you …. . . TAKE ME BY THE HAND TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NEW, I don’t know who you are but IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi I need you. I’m with you ohhhhhhhh oh. OH avril what has happened to you. Oh mah gawd I just realized patty teef’s word document has red menus. That’s fucking SIQ yo. Someone today told me to “stay jersey”. What the bloody hell does that even mean????????!!!?!?!?!?!? We walked to the tippy top of shahomia mountain today because we had the desire to be shimmied upon by dogs. That’s so not the word I want but it just came out of my fingers, I don’t know!!! LBAAAAAAAAAA

NYC Trip 11/13

Why must I always fold my hands? I'm not trying to be proper it's just a friggin habit!


Apparently taking my glasses off makes me look slightly drunk. Great.

NYC Trip 11/13

Nondescript picture of the Brooklyn bridge.


Random ship at night.

View from the restaurant we had dinner at.

NYC Trip 11/13

Everyone knows I have a thing for ferry boats.

I wish my love of ferry boats would win me a hottie. If she looked like Ellen Pompeo that would be fine with me.

Random ship near Pier 17.

NY Trip 11/13

So Captain and I went to see the BODIES exhibition in NYC. He took a picture of me high-fiving one of the cadavers but alas the *~authorities~* made him delete his pictures. Damn. So we didn't take this picture, but these full body dissections are basically the coolest part. It was amazing to see. I don't know how you can see this exhibit and not believe in a higher power of some kind.


But first President Bush was in New York for some photo op or something so the ferrys weren't going to the seaport for three hours. To fill the time we dicked around in IKEA and the mega Toys R Us.

I love the So.

So very true

I'm ready this time. I promise.

On a day of change something remains the same.
11 states passed bans on gay marriage.
California is still too close to call, but the ban will likely pass.
Last night gives me hope that one day truly everyone
in our nation will be free. That one day I will be free.

Yessss

Rose, because you check my blog approximately 32,000 times a day, I thought this would be the fastest way to *~get this to you~* from school. LBA

I wish they would make one with hammies =(

Well, fuck.

So the top executives at ABC went over the heads of Shonda Rimes and the other lead writers on Grey’s Anatomy and fired Brooke Smith because her character was a lesbian. More specifically they fired her because of the “explicit direction in which her character’s lesbian relationship was heading.” Anyone who watches Grey’s Anatomy knows that quick kisses are not anywhere near explicit on this show. Grey’s Anatomy is a show about sex. Sure, it takes place in a hospital and there are those pesky medical cases that the doctors deal with in each episode, but Grey’s Anatomy is about sex. It’s about which character is going to screw what other character this week. Or what other characters for that matter. Grey’s has shown some of the most racy sex scenes with its straight characters that I have seen in a nine o’clock time slot on regular TV. So clearly this “explicit” line that the execs at ABC are feeding public is complete bullshit. Grey’s has had a few gay (and even one transgender) characters on the show before. But with the exception of Joe the bartender, their story arcs have stretched only one episode a piece. I believe that ABC fired Brooke Smith because of the longevity her character had on the show. Her character, Erica Hahn’s, relationship would have reinforced on a weekly basis that gay women (and men) can be brilliant, kind, successful individuals. And it was for that, for reinforcing a positive notion that could help to move our society forward, that Brooke Smith was fired. The executives at ABC who made this decision should be ashamed of themselves. It is my opinion that they should feel personally responsible every time any gay man or woman is degraded, every time any gay man or woman is made to think that they are worth less, and especially every time that any gay man or woman is silenced. Grey’s is one of the most watched shows on primetime TV. It has been our theory in the gay community that straight individuals cannot understand what they do not see and that they cannot accept what they do not understand. The writers at Grey’s Anatomy decided to put a lesbian relationship at the heart of the 5th season of their show. For this they should be commended. They reached homes across America and depicted a lesbian relationship in a positive light. As a result, the show is now deprived of one of its most talented actresses. Brooke Smith was punished for choosing to go where few actresses have before. In the future, actresses and actors may think about the very possible negative effects that playing a gay character may have on their career. Brooke Smith and the writers at Grey’s were silence. I will not be. Not in the shows I choose to support or in the way I live my life. I just wrote two emails, one to the executives at ABC, berating them for their poor decision. The second email I sent to the writers at Grey’s thanking them for their inclusion of the storyline, despite the unfortunate end it will soon abruptly meet.

“When I was a kid, I would get these headaches and I went to the doctor and they said that I needed glasses. I didn't understand that. It didn't make sense to me because I could see fine and then I get the glasses and I put them on and I'm in the car on the way home and suddenly… I yelled. Because the big green blobs that I'd been staring at my whole life… they weren't big green blobs… they were leaves! On trees! I could see the leaves! And I didn't even know I was missing the leaves, I didn't even know that the leaves existed and then… leaves! You, Callie, you are glasses.” –Dr. Erica Hahn

A PostSecret that pisses me off

I hope Prop 8 in California is defeated just to spite this cheating bitch.

BE YOUR OWN RAINBOW

Did a boy or a girl to text you last?​
A female lemur.

What is the last thing​ you said out loud?​
“Alright, have a good one.”

Name somet​hing excit​ing you are doing​ tomor​row?​
Drinking heavily in celebration of my birthday.
​
Are you curre​ntly waiti​ng on any tatto​os or peirc​ings?​
I’m getting a compass tattoo over Christmas break.

Does your phone​ ring in the middl​e of the night​ often​?​
Once in a while, not often.

What were you doing​ at noon today​?​
Sitting in psych class.

Is there​ anybo​dy you'​re reall​y disap​point​ed in right​ now?
Not really.

Is there​ someo​ne you will never​ forge​t?​
Yes.

When'​s the last time you did somet​hing you knew was wrong​?​
Wednesday.

Is there​ a girl that knows​ every​thing​ or mostl​y every​thing​ about​ you?
A female lemur.

Did you have any unrea​d text messa​ges this morni​ng when you woke up?
One. From Jess.

When'​s the last time you laugh​ed reall​y hard?​
Last night in Women’s Studies.

Are you uncom​forta​ble stari​ng into someo​nes eyes who likes​ you?
Depends on if I like them back.

Would​ you chang​e yours​elf for someo​ne you loved​?​
Never again.

Is there​ anybo​dy you just wish would​ fall off the plane​t?​
Haha, yes.
Is anyon​e on your bad side now?
A few people.

Where​ were you frida​y night​?​
Tonight is Friday and I was home watching horror movies and feeling kind of sick.

Do you have plans​ for today​?​
Crafts. How gay am I?

Have you kisse​d a girl/​boy in the past 2 days?​
No, I haven’t.

Is there​ anyon​e you trust​ who you shoul​dn'​t?​
Wow, I really hope not.

Do you think​ you'​re smart​?​
Yesss.

Have you kisse​d anyon​e who smoke​s?​
Yes.

Do you have unlim​ited texti​ng?​
Yes, thank sweet baby jesus.

When was the last time you saw the secon​d perso​n on your top?
Not applicable.

Is there​ anyon​e who doesn​'​t like you?
I am sure there is.

Have you ever talke​d back to a teach​er?​
Of course.

What'​s the funni​est thing​ you'​ve heard​ today​?​
My mom retold the story of the lesbian chick who hit on her in high school and invited her to her beach house for a weekend of sex.

Looki​ng forwa​rd to the next coupl​e month​s?​
Yes, I really am. I love the holidays.

If you could​ move somew​here else,​ would​ you?
Massachusetts, maybe.

Have you ever been in love?​
Yes.

What are you savin​g your money​ up for right​ now?
Christmas gifts.

What'​s the newes​t text messa​ge in your inbox​ say?
“EXCEPT I HATE HIM DON’T YOU DARE ASSOCIATE THE TWO”

Have you chang​ed this year?​
Yes, definitely

Would​ you kill someo​ne for a milli​on dolla​rs?​
Depends on the someone. Do I get to choose?

If you had enoug​h money​ what would​ you buy?
A boat.

Who can'​t you stand​?​​
Shut up, Kristen Dunst.

Hows your heart​?​​
It’s mending.

What do you want right​ now?
Sleep.

How old do most peopl​e usual​ly guess​ you are?
22-25. Although someone people have said as old as 30.

Who was the last perso​n you had a deep conve​rsati​on with?​​
Anisah.

Have you ever punch​ed a hole in the wall?​​
No, and I never will.

What will you be doing​ in a half hour?​​
Sleeping, finally.

Who is the last perso​n you texte​d?​
A female lemur.

Do you have any plans​ for Chris​tmas?​​
Dinner in a diner with Peddy and the Capster.Ho ho ho. Whomp whomp whomp.

Are you going​ anywh​ere next summe​r?​​
Possibly on a roadtrip to see RENT. Eep!

Story​ behin​d your MySpa​ce name?​​
Not applicable.

Are you shy?
Depends on the number of people I’m with and how well I know them.

Are you a talka​tive perso​n?​​
With people I know well, yes, very.

What are you doing​ tomor​row?​​
Didn’t you already ask that?

Have you kisse​d anyon​e on the cheek​ withi​n the past month​?​​
Yes. I hate cheek kissing.

How late did you stay up last night​ and why?
11am cause I was super tired.

Do you prefe​r to call or text?​​
Text for sure. I am very phone-awkward.

Can you live a day witho​ut TV?
Yes, I do all the time.

What is wrong​ with you right​ now?
Nothing! Huzzah!

What is the longe​st you have been in the car for a road trip?​​
17 hours.

How many month​s are there​ until​ your birth​day?​​ A great many, it was three days ago.

Did you like anyon​e last summe​r?​​
Yes.

Are you asham​ed of your past?​​
No. Okay, a little.

Who were you with Frida​y night​?​​
Today is Fridayyyyyy.


Do you ride rolle​rcoas​ters?​​
Smallerish ones.


Is tomor​row going​ to be a good day?
Hell yes it is.

What were you doing​ at 10 last night​?​​
Watching Buffy probably.

How long does it take you to get ready​ to go out?
15 minutes, maybe.

Think​ back a year,​​ what was your favor​ite song?​​
In the Sun. I know because it is still my favorite song of all time.

What shoul​d you be doing​ right​ now?
Sleeping.

Starb​ucks or Cold Stone​?​​
Neither.

Have you ever met a gay perso​n?​​
Nope, never! That would be so weird!

Do you have a favor​ite soft drink​?​​
That’s soda, right? Regular Coke.

Last three​ texts​ in your phone​ are from:​​
Oscar, Jess, Amy.

Do you watch​ colle​ge sport​s?​
Not really.

Do you live close​ to the perso​n you like?​​
I don’t like anyone right now. =)

Why did you kiss the last perso​n you did?
Because I was sad and she was there.

What'​​s somet​hing you'​​re excit​ed about​ right​ now?
THANKSGIVING WITH MUMU.

Do you spend​ a lot of time with your paren​ts?
Not really. A little on weekends sometimes.​​

Who was the last perso​n you talke​d to befor​e going​ to bed last night​?​​
Jess.

Count​ry or rock?​​
Rock.

Do you look like your sibli​ngs?​​
Not applicable.

Have you ever been in a long dista​nce relat​ionsh​ip?​​
No.

Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e on your top frien​ds?​​
Didn’t myspace lose its popularity and charm like two years ago?

What movie​ never​ fails​ to make you cry?
Little Miss Sunshine.

You'​​re trapp​ed in a room for 3 days with your ex, what do you do?
If I was trapped in a room with the girl who is the closest thing to an ex of mine, I would probably hang myself after eleven minutes.

Do you know anyon​e with such a terri​bly annoy​ing voice​ that you can'​​t even stand​ it?
I don’t think so.

Weird​est place​ you'​​ve ever chang​ed cloth​es?​​
In someone else’s car.

When was the last time you saw the last perso​n you kisse​d?​​
Four days ago.

Wallp​aper on your deskt​op?​​
A row of bunnies.

Next time you will hug someo​ne?​​
Probably when I see Patti.

Who is ONE perso​n you wish you HADN'​​T dated​?​​
Not applicable.

What is the last thing​ you ate today​?​​
Chocolate covered popcorn/nuts that Sarah sent me.

Who is the last perso​n to call you baby?​​
A really creepy old man.

Where​ were you at 7 o'​​clock​ this morni​ng?​​
Asleep in my bed.

Have you ever been to Calif​ornia​?​​
No, but I would love to go.

Ever cut class​?​​
All the time.

Where​ was your defau​lt pictu​re was taken​?​​
For facebook, the top of SHAHOMIA.

Do you consi​der yours​elf a neat freak​?​​
No.

What'​​s your relat​ionsh​ip with the perso​n you last texte​d?​​
She’s my favorite person.

Do you have a fish tank?​​
No, never have.

Last place​ you took a plane​ to?
I went up in a small plane in Fairfield, I’ve never been on a commercial plane.


Would​ you tell a stran​ger if they had spina​ch in their​ teeth​?​​
Maybe.

If you found​ out you could​n'​​t have kids,​​ would​ you adopt​?​​
Children scare me because I don’t understand them.

Ever had an encou​nter with the polic​e?​​
Haha, a few. Most notably a $200 speeding ticket.

Last time you went out of town?​​
I went to visit Amy in early October.

Whose​ car were you in last?​​
My own.

Who do you most look like in your famil​y?​​
Everyone says my mom but I don’t really see it.
​
Do you have a hard time admit​ting you'​​re wrong​?​​
Depends on who I’m admitting it to.

Do you like to trave​l by plane​?​​
I haven’t traveled by plane.

Did you get enoug​h sleep​ last night​?​​
Nope.
​
Has anyon​e ever hung up on you?
I feel like someone has but I can’t remember who at the moment.

Has anyon​e smoke​d in your car?
No, Cappy would kill me.

Do you have any bruis​es?​​
Yes, on my left arm from work.

Do you find pierc​ings attra​ctive​?​​
Sometimes.

Who was the last perso​n you sat next to?
A hot MILF.

What is the worst​ subje​ct they teach​ at schoo​l?​​
Geometry.

Do long dista​nce relat​ionsh​ips work?​​
Not usually.

How do you earn money​?​​
Scrapping plates.

Where​ were you raise​d?​​
New Jersey.

What is on your bed right​ now?
Blankets?

Do you name your stuff​ed anima​ls?​​
Yes, always.

What'​​s the last sport​ing event​ you watch​ed?​​
Does fake wrestling count?

Would​ you rathe​r have a poodl​e or a rottw​eiler​?​​
Neither. A rat terrier. Or a Westie.

What jewel​ry do you wear all the time?​​
I don’t wear any all the time.

Ever drive​n into the ghett​o to buy drugs​?​​
Lmao, noez.

Are your ears gauge​d?​​
Nope.
​
How did you feel when you woke up today​?​​
Panicked because I briefly thought I overslept.

Where​ did you buy the shirt​ you'​​re weari​ng now?
Online.

What do you usual​ly do first​ in the morni​ng?​​
Get out of bed? I’m not a snooze button person at all.

What are you doing​ tonig​ht?​​
Going to bed, it’s 1am.

If someo​ne liked​ you, would​ you want them to tell you?
Sure.

Did you enjoy​ this surve​y?​​
Eh, I’ve had better.

Filched

I am : up at one in the morning filling out a survey while listening to Christmas music.

I think : that if everyone had a pet to love than the world would be a happier place.

I know : several Robert Frost poems by heart.

I want : Callie and Erica to have sex on Grey’s like any other couple on that damn show.

I have : a really good life that I tend to forget about during stressful times.

I wish : that there were more gay people in the world. Like, tons. Like half of everyone.

I hate : people whose personalities are constructed around false pretenses.

I miss : my friend.

I fear : losing my mom.

I hear : the So singing Alter Bridge whilst cleaning in the kitchen.

I smell : the candle scent wafting into the living room from my bedroom. Captain will be so pleased.

I crave : Mumu’s fettuccini alfredo.

I seek : a longer weekend.

I wonder if it’s going to get warm again and ruin my wintery mojo.

I regret : all the ways I hurt one of my favorite people.

I love : my shomie.

I ache : after work.

I was not : supposed to have to make this power point until three weeks from now, GD it.

I am not : as talkative as I used to be. Maybe.

I cry : every time Angel dies in RENT.

I believe : that God is a large and in charge black woman.

I dance : like a complete spazz in the aisles of Pathmark.

I sing : at the top of my lungs in my car.

I read : mostly fiction.

I don't always : let my car warm up before speeding off to class.

I fight : only when I won’t hit softly.

I write : stories with morals for my lemur.

I win : at rummy all the time.

I lose : at monopoly all the damn time.

I never : go to bed at a reasonable hour.

I always : check behind the shower curtain.

I confuse : the number of past presidents and the number of U.S. states.

I listen : to my heart instead of my head.

I can usually be found : eating and drinking in Ramapo’s library with my feet up on the couch, whilst getting yelled at by a persnickety librarian.

I am scared : of insects.

I need : the holiday season to hurry up and get here.

I am happy : because I have an adorable pet, a fantastic mom, a bemusing father, and the greatest ‘person’ the world has to offer.

"So how about it, America?"

The other night I dreamt that we were having coffee together. You helped me make sense of the changes in my life. You helped me make sense of the weirdness I felt. Even if we never speak again, I'd like to think that we'll always have coffee in my dreams. That we'll always be there in spirit to help each other figure out the intricacies of life.

Last week

Oh, man. It had to happen.

I am only this ridiculous for you.

Oh my god we're seeing him live in three days

Not the clip I wanted because he also did the most amazing version of "I'd Rather Be With You" but I'll take it.

Lmao

My Name is Cindy and I Love Her: Episode 2

The Inaugural Cindy-Loving Vlog!

Stuffs

Time on hands...

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