This summer was the best I’ve had. I learned some invaluable lessons about life and about myself. I wish I had more time to spend in this space. I wish I could put off starting my junior year of college for another month or maybe another year. Part of me loathes the thought of this coming semester, of being made to sit down and shut up under a florescent light in a room with no windows.
I lived this summer. Maybe for the very first time in my life. I did more than just survive, I was happy.
I worked my ass off. I didn’t write as often as I was supposed to. I didn’t get angry with myself when I didn’t write. I got in my first car accident. It felt worse than I could have imagined. It took me a month to shake it off. I buried Abner in the rain and felt completely broken over the loss of a hamster. I saw Kathy Griffin live and laughed until I cried. Amy and I went for ice cream approximately three thousand times. We wore foam hats. Sometimes in public. Shannon made me a painting based on RENT. I painted half my room. I threw out what felt like half of my possessions. We had luaus in my backyard. We took a shitload of pictures. I saw Jason Mraz with Kate and realized I didn’t really care about seeing Jason Mraz, I just wanted to chill with my friend. We sang along to RENT on the car ride home. My grandfather died. Kate stepped up for my mom. I found out that I am related to my best friend. My best friend left for another country. I spent every penny I earned this summer and wouldn’t change that if I could. I remembered my father’s birthday. It took me forever to read two of the Harry Potter books. I cried when Dumbledore died. I got to see RENT for a third time. I got to see it with Kate and watched her fall in love with it. We spent an entire day together. We knew it would be good for us. It was. I drove to fucking Schenectady. Kate and I watched more movies than I can remember. We ate a lot of pie too. I went to the third annual BBQ. I started watching horror movies. Endira made me cry in front of everyone. I broke yet another cellphone and now only have about 25 contacts of people I actually like. I brought her coffee and watched as my world didn’t fall apart. I did a lot of praying and soul searching at three in the morning. I pulled myself out of a major funk. I went white water rafting. It was fucking awesome. Amy and I played Guitar Hero. I realized that I can draw a little bit. I practiced juggling for hours. I visited Amy at her job. I took care of my grandmother. I jumped for joy when I found out I passed the math class from hell. I watched a lot of wrestling with Jess. I realized the woman I had thought of as my hero was nothing more than a master manipulator with a warped view of herself. I didn’t sell out my friend. I went to the seafood festival and watched my parents get drunk off their asses. I organized Julie’s gift and realized my coworkers trusted me with a lot of their money. I had a shitty fourth of July and made plans for next year as an antidote. I made the decision to not let anything hold me back from doing the things I want to do in the future. I was brave. I became really good friends with Shavoniece. I helped my dad with his annual bike rally for three days straight and then could barely walk for three more days after it. I went down a Slip N’ Slide for the first time in my life. I realized that I had a truly shitty childhood and that I will try to make up for it in the future. She asked “Would it help if I told you that I love you?” and I made a promise I don’t ever plan on breaking. I drank a shitload of alcohol and had a really good time doing it. I made Kate a poster. I realized that I owe it to myself to get what I want this time. I watched a lot of TV on DVD marathons. Amy and I contemplated our joint funeral. I fell in love with ‘Strangers in Paradise’ and read all two thousand pages in six days.
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