I don’t know exactly when it happened; all I know is that I was too busy to notice it. I realized tonight that we’ve had our last new years as a group and our last sleepover. It’s sad when a group of friends dissolve into just a group of people. It’s sad when you look around and you don’t know why you’re with the people you’re with. All these years I’ve always thought I was such a devoted friend, but that isn’t really true. I’m an extremely dedicated friend, so much so that it’s a flaw, to a few people. There are other people who I’ve called friends who now I really don’t know if I ever actually gave a shit about.

I’m forced with the prospect of having to make a life out of the jumbled mess I currently have. Because Amy is going to leave. And Kate will too. Neither for good, but for long enough that I will have to learn to live for myself for once and not for someone else.

The scary part is I don't know if I want to.